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Forward is the Only Way
...so get hacking
I unloaded a lot in my post from yesterday. However, I feel better. As I said, sometimes it’s necessary to get the dark bullshit out of you in order to process it and move on. As far as a solution to those problems, there is only one that I know of and it is tried and true: move the fuck forward and slay the fucking beast.
How does one slay it? Well, without a tank or magic, you just hack, stab, and slash it to ribbons until it’s no longer moving. These are the real life monsters that are represented by the metaphorical monsters in the stories we love. As the greatest mind and philosopher of our time, Pipkin Pippa, once pointed out: it is important to remember that you are the main character in your story. She’s right, and frankly, I choose to be the hero and move the fuck forward.
After getting that shit out and receiving encouraging messages from friends that saw it in the real world, I was able to see and feel more clearly. I also demanded an answer to one of the major projects that has been a hinderance on my sanity. There are still more behemoths to slay but I’m more focused and less full of negative emotions, thoughts, and cringe. Also, those McNuggets just hit differently last night and made me appreciate the little things more.
I still don’t know how to regain the momentum I’ve lost since Elon fucked up Twitter, but being depressed and hopeless about my quick success being kneecapped isn’t going to fix it. I just have to keep working and hacking away. I have to adapt to these changes, even if they are never clear and could change again at the drop of a hat. But what else can I do? Sulk and bitch about it?
I have bigger and more expansive plans already. I just need to stick to my guns and work on that shit - exhaustion and time be damned. There is only one way out of the hole and that is to ascend.
Look, I know that I put too much on myself, but I can’t simply accept the fate that’s been handed to me. This is why I started writing and building my own thing to begin with. Yes, I want to tell stories and have those connect with an audience. However, I also want this passion to be how I make my living. I want to give all my time to it. While I can’t do that just yet, I have to find the path to that life or die trying.
I love my characters, I love my stories, but even more than that, I love that they have indeed connected with other people. That shit motivates me in ways that I can’t quantify with words. I’m a good writer but I’m not that good. I write popcorn pulp, you guys… but it’s awesome in the way that steak, whiskey, and titties are awesome.
Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through the darker moments. I think it’s necessary to present those kind of struggles when they happen, if I am going to be genuine about why I created this Substack in the first place, which was to chronicle the process of writing these books and all the challenges that arise.
I’ve always had a way of working through things with words and then reflecting on those words. Maybe I should keep a personal journal again, as that used to do wonders. Granted, all that shit is cringe as fuck when I read it now. But are we even human if we can’t sometimes release our inner cringe? It’s the people who stand by you after those moments that really matter.
Alright, now this is getting really cringe.